We bought a house! In a recession! During a pandemic! INTEREST RATES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER.

But really, they haven’t. Ours is locked in at about 2.6%.

We started seriously looking for a home around September 2019 and it’s been a long process. In total, we’ve put offers on four houses and lost three.

The first was just getting our feet wet mixed in with a worry we wouldn’t find something else. No negotiating from the seller.

The next, an older house in a great spot, but owned by people with too much “emotional” value tied to it and unwilling to negotiate in the least. I’m completely serious about that. We made a very fair offer and they just could not accept anything less than list because of their emotional investment- give me a break.

The third was the best. A new house that was modern and very unique looking. It had a cool second building that could easily be converted into an office space. It was over Christmas and we thought what an amazing gift for our family if we got it. We almost did. We were one of several offers (of course) and put in our best and final. The seller wanted us to sign an addendum that stated we would pay our offer price even if the house appraised for less. Now, it probably would have appraised. Probably. However, signing something like that means you could be out thousands of dollars out of pocket. Remember, you also have closing costs and a down payment to make as a buyer. This was our first go at the house buying process and we were not comfortable signing something like that. It’s such a huge risk and a great way to start out in massive debt. So, no negotiating there either and we lost it because someone else was willing to sign it. They did ask if we wanted to be a back-up and we politely declined.

These three houses taught us several things:

1. On the whole, sellers are giant assholes. That’s how it feels as a buyer at least.
2. This is a really cut-throat process that we weren’t expecting. We didn’t think it would be super easy, but none of these sellers ever came back with a counteroffer. It was always them digging their heels in and, like a spoiled child, saying they “don’t wanna!”.
3. Never, ever, EVER be the first offer on a house. We were in all three cases and it never paid off for us. It gives you no power and you have to wait around while other offers come in. In most cases, we would submit an offer Saturday morning and their realtor was always like, “I’ll present this to them Monday so we can see what else comes in!” Fuck you. As a buyer, you can also attach a time frame to your offer and tell them when you need an answer. Do this if you’re the first offer, but also be aware the seller may call you and ask for extensions. That’s what happened with the house we actually got. We were the last offer, but they needed our offer only an hour after we saw the house because there were already multiple offers and one said they needed an answer by noon. Well, our realtor called the seller and they, in turn, called that offer to get a time extension. It really does not pay to be first. We knew we were the last offer and could kind of guess what the other offers would look like just based on experience. So we could go in higher and, lo and behold, we won.
4. Don’t be a back-up offer. All you’re doing is screwing the other buyer and giving the seller more negotiating power. You’ll be their first call if that other offer falls flat. Also, you probably won’t get the house. There was a back-up offer on the house we bought and it didn’t change the concessions we asked for at all. We got them too.

This is just our experience and things we will remember next time we buy a house. We live in an incredibly hot market, so I understand sellers wanting to get all the offers they can. If your house isn’t falling apart here, you’ll probably get at least two offers on it the first weekend it’s listed.

In all of those cases, we experienced a lot of resistance and I take that to heart. I feel like if you’re getting a lot of push back on something then that might not be the path you’re meant to walk down. I don’t mean if you get presented with a challenge then give up. What I mean is resistance with things more out of your control like a seller wanting too much money, unwilling to negotiate, or the house needs too many repairs after an inspection comes in. A messed up foundation is not a challenge, it’s a $20,000 money pit.

Our new home has been fairly effortless, which is why I know this was the correct path. We did have to make an offer quickly (and I don’t do anything fast), but we heard back only a couple of hours later that we got the house. The inspection came back pretty much as good as it could (aka, flat, perfect foundation) and we got all the concessions we asked for. They paid our closing costs so we didn’t have any additional fees sans the down payment and the house itself appraised for more than our offer so the mortgage was approved. Did I mention our rate is like 2.6%? It’s amazing.

We also dove right into renovations before we move in. We figured since the house would be empty that that’s the best time to gut everything. We’re a couple of weeks into reno and things have been going pretty smooth. Bids came back at fair prices and nothing scary has popped up. It’s going to be a brand new house once we’re done. I can’t wait to share before and after photos.

Again, all of this is just our experience, but it’s all something I will take with us once we sell this home and move on to the next chapter. I hope this helped in some way. Buying a house can be incredibly stressful, but it doesn’t have to end up with you pulling your hair out and having a breakdown. Listen to your gut and listen to the universe because it knows what it’s talking about.